


Put Your Head On My Shoulder

by achievement_huntresss



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Let my babies be soft, Pet Names, Texting, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achievement_huntresss/pseuds/achievement_huntresss
Summary: Natalie is asexual. She worries about how to come out to her boyfriend.





	Put Your Head On My Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my favorite Clockwork cosplayer, my beautiful friend c4ke. I hope this inspires them to not be afraid to come out and be proud! :D
> 
> also idk this is an au where they all have phones and separate apartments/houses?? idk fight me

Natalie frowns down at her phone, resisting the urge to throw it across the room in frustration. Jane was being absolutely irritating.

 

xXxjanexXx:  _so have u told him yet?_

tiktokbyKesha:  _No. And stop typing like you're 12._

xXxjanexXx:  _no 12 yr old types like this. if anything i txt like a mom_

xXxjanexXx:  _stop changing the subject. when r u going to tell him_

tiktokbyKesha: _Id_ _k! Probably never! It's really not that big of a deal._

xXxjanexXx:  _natalie._

xXxjanexXx: _natalie im coming over to smack u upside the head,_

xXxjanexXx:  _it IS a big deal!!! ur sexuality is an important part of you!_

tiktokbyKesha:  _What if he gets mad_

tiktokbyKesha: _or he doesn't want to be with me anymore_

xXxjanexXx:  _NATALIE._

xXxjanexXx: _u've known him for how long?_

xXxjanexXx: _and y'all have been through how much together?_

tiktokbyKesha: _A lot_

xXxjanexXx: _EXACTLY_

xXxjanexXx: _he would never ever ever get mad at u for this_

xXxjanexXx: _like maybe u might have to explain it to him_

xXxjanexXx: _cuz he's kinda dumb_

xXxjanexXx: _but he will accept u_

xXxjanexXx: _it's toby_

xXxjanexXx: _he LOVES you_

xXxjanexXx: _all he wants is the best for you_

tiktokbyKesha: _Hang on, I can hear the door_

xXxjanexXx: _keep me posted!!_

 

The key clicked in the lock of the front door and Natalie all but threw her phone onto the couch and darted up. She knew she must look like a deer in the headlights, but she could barely control her thundering heart. She'd never been this nervous to talk to anyone in her life.

For most of her life, Natalie had felt... well... broken. When she got into middle school, all anyone could talk about was sex. It had disgusted her then, and even when she'd gotten into her relationship with her jerk of an ex, she always told him she'd wanted to wait. He never forced her into anything, but the few times she tried it with him, she absolutely hated every second of it. Even now, when Jane or another pasta mentioned sex, Nat had to physically stop herself from covering her ears. Jane was the first to figure it out, sending her links to a resource network online where Natalie had finally found the word for people like her. Asexual.

That was a three months ago. Now, 6 months into her relationship with Toby, she was struggling to find a way to tell him the truth. Even though she knew she wasn't broken and that a lot of people felt the same way, she couldn't help but feel worried about talking about it. She really did feel a little broken, especially when other pastas would elbow or wink at Toby and ask how living with Clockwork was. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

Living with and dating Toby was amazing. He made her coffee just the right way, and being the big spoon some nights against someone who's pretty much a human heater was lovely. They could sit for hours in their living room, watching movies on their own separate screens and not say a word, and it was absolute heaven. And yeah, they had kissed several times, especially before leaving for missions, but it never went past that. Natalie was incredibly grateful that Toby never ever pushed to go further, but she felt bad that she wasn't completely honest with him, and wanted to tell him the truth.

And yeah, Toby loved her. He'd been telling her that since the day they'd met practically. But a part of her worried that he would just not understand and want to break up.

_No one wants to date a broken girl._

She could hear Toby's footsteps coming up the stairs from the front door landing. He came around the corner and walked into the living room, already taking off his hoodie and goggles, mask and hatchets most likely by the front door. Toby cracked his neck and yipped, looking up at Natalie with a soft smile that eased some of her worries. 

"Hi," He said, opening his arms slightly. Natalie all but ran at him, crashing into his arms. He laughed, squeezing her against him tightly. She sighed, and rested her head against his solid chest, comforted by his warmth.

"Hi," she echoed back, slightly muffled against his chest. He laughed and barked, hands twitching against her back.

She savored the embrace as long as she could before pulling away. Natalie glanced up at him, then down at her feet. "I, um... I want to talk to you about something-" she noticed his shoulders tense up, and quickly threw her hands up. "Not anything bad! Just some personal stuff I guess?"

Toby nods, and motions towards the couch. They sit down on it, next to each other and knees touching. Natalie focuses on the touch, letting it ground her and keep her anxieties at bay.

"I- We've been dating for a while and I'm, uh... I'm sort of worried about you wanting things that I can't give you?" She coughs. He takes her hand in both of his. She looks up at him.

"Nat, you can tell me anything. Take a deep breath, honey." Toby smiles at her again, and it's  _so_ soft and  _so_ warm and his hands are so gentle and big around hers that she feels so safe and-

"I'm asexual," she blurts out. 

Toby looks at her blankly and she's about to explain more, maybe even grab her phone to pull up the resource website when he shrugs and places a kiss on the top of her head. "So, you don't like sex, right? That's... Natalie, that's perfectly fine with me."

She blinks a few times. "You-you're not mad?"

Toby looks at her like she's grown a third arm. "Why would I be mad? It's your sexuality. It's no different than me being pan." He cracks his neck and takes a hand off of hers to knock three times. "I love you, Natalie. I want to be with you to be with you. Just watching movies or listening to old records, or hell even going for long walks around the lake is more than enough for me. I don't care what we do, or what we  _don't_ do, as long as I'm with you."

Natalie feels tears starting to well up in her eye. "I- I'm sorry I thought you'd be mad. A-and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."

Toby kisses her temple. "It's completely fine, doll. It's a scary thing to come out, especially to someone you're dating. And I'm not like... an animal. I can survive without sex." He laughs. "It's not a big deal if we never have it. I want you to be 100% comfortable with everything in our relationship."

"I... I like kissing." She says, feeling kind of dumb. Toby doesn't laugh at her though, so she continues. "A-and when we cuddle. I like having your arms around me. You make me feel safe."

Toby smiles, and presses a kiss to each of her fingertips. She giggles. "And if you want to have... have sex. I can try it?"

He nods. "We'll definitely talk about it. But if I ever do anything to make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe, you tell me. Okay? I can usually tell, but if you need me to ever stop, you tell me to stop."

Natalie can't take it anymore. She pulls him in for a soft, kiss. He makes a surprised noise, but melts into it. He pulls away to press more kisses to her nose and cheeks and anywhere  on her face he can reach until she's laughing until her sides ache.

"I love you so much," she says.

"I love you too. More than anything." He hums and nuzzles up against her neck, head almost completely on her shoulder. "This is gonna sound lame, but I'm really proud of you babe. Coming out... it's scary. I'm glad you trusted me and told me."

Natalie laughs, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer. She kisses his head at an awkward angle, and feels his laughter through his body. She really had nothing to worry about, did she?


End file.
